FEAR     JANUARY 26TH

When I think of fear, all I think of is death. So, am I afraid of death, or afraid of the unknown?

First, let’s discuss death. There are so many reasons to be afraid of death. Of what kind of death you will have, whether it be drowning, eyes searching the water as you exhale the last of your oxygen. Or possibly burning to death, scrambling around to try and escape the searing heat and choking fumes. Personally, I would love to fall off of the face of a cliff. I think the adrenaline coursing through my body after flying through the air hundreds of feet would make death feel like a rave party.  What other ways are there of dying? Blowing my brains out? Slicing someone into tiny pieces?

Isn’t that scary? Thinking about accidental deaths, then you realize, wait, someone could kill me. Like, any second they want to. There is no way to stop someone from shooting you, or sneaking up on you in the parking garage and slicing you up. Always looking over your shoulder, making sure there is no possibility of something making your heart stop beating and your brain stop firing. That, is fear.

Yet, when I think of fear of the unknown, death could also be placed into that category. I will never know how or when I will die, whether it be water or slicing or maybe cliff diving, which is what gets my imagination trucking. All the different possibilities for death, for our futures, for pretty much anything after 1 second from now. Whether I type this sentence fast, or whether I type it slowly, all affects everything that will ever happen for the rest of forever. It makes you realize that whatever the person next to you is typing could start World War III, or be plotting you sneak up on you in the shadows of the parking garage after class. Or they could be planning to become a clown. Who really knows anything about tomorrow? Plans change. Things happen. People die. People are born. We are so insignificant in the scheme of things, but without that 1 person, that one baby, that one old man that died yesterday, none of this would be happening. I might not be typing this paper on whatever I’m rambling on about. Every single thing that happens, whether it be the ant you stomped on this morning or the next President that is elected, all of it is relevant to everything else.