The Splendid Hatred of Pigeons Who Love Bagels APRIL 8TH

I saw my way to get back at my ex fiancé, Roza, but I had to be sneaky. This man had power, and I had to weild it. I waited for my perfect opportunity, and then…

GO GO GO!

I attacked, and I got inside the control box. The control box of my love and despair. The love I shall use to destroy the entire city Roza, my ex lover, lives in. Where, you ask? Hold on…

OOPS!

(I might have pushed a few uhm….)

What are all of these buttons?

OUCH
OUCH
OUCH
OUCH

Bounce.

This takes some getting used to. Rough ride. There has to be a pigeon control version on here somewhere…

ZZEERRRRPPP!

Ooooo… this one sounds like…. LASER FIRE

I think I have to shoot this laser fire beam exactly 73 times before I can continue.

So, I will.

Then, there was blast off.

Okay, now I get it. These controls are easy! Screw you all!

LASERRRRRR FIIIRRREEEEEE

Hmmm. That Bagel… this man needs it desperately. It must be powerful. Powerfully delicious.

I’ll trick him… and destroy Roza! All in one and a half minutes!

HA!

Oh no he didn’t. What is he…?

Wait…. HE PUSHED IT FOR ME!!!!

I can’t wait to see this… Please be a big rocket….

BLASSSSTTTT OOOFFFFFFF

Wow. Oh crud, he’s gonna try and fly like a pigeon and stop it. Let’s do this thang.

FOLLOW THAT ROCKET!! I will not let him stop that rocket! It must kill Roza!

That’s right, human. Adios.

But then….

BAGEL!!!!!!!

The horribly dressed human has deserted the bagel, left it to fly back down to earth, tumbling at immense speed.

I dive bombed to catch the bagel…. But behind me in the sky…

KABOOM

The rocket, it has exploded! NO! The human tricked ME! He has foiled my plans to kill that murderous feather stripping ex pigeon!

Well…..

At least I got the bagel.

THE END?

Until the next bagel….

By Coltney Fisher

Pigeon Extraordinaire

Champion of All Bagels